mundane…….i mean monday…

this is a late one…i stayed up pretty late last night (for a school night). im doing a lot of research on the tummy.

 

i went to my acupuncturist to see if i could soothe some of my unfortunate situation…and it was amazing!

 

she started poking my ears with needles. i asked her what she was doing. she said she was just redirecting energy to my stomach and intestines to aid the problem areas. as soon as she gave me her answer my stomach literally started growling and talking back to me. it was instantaneous. 

 

i havent ruled out the idea of a parasite either…could be a viable possibility. but thats a side note…

 

bad news is she said i definitely did damage from not eating for so long on the show. and now no matter how clean i eat my digestive system has to work overtime. 

anyway, so i start, of course, researching the metaphysical reasons for physical ailments.

 

there seems to be a correlation between the liver, colon  and spleen, all having to do with anger and fear. and feeling unsafe and holding on to indecision. 

 

ummm, wow. ok….

 

well, if that aint some shit. 

 

i offered all this to you today, because i knew your life wouldnt be complete unless i shared with you my digestive health.

 

welcome to a glimpse into my life via the colon….

 

peace…

 

 

n

fah fah fah riday…..

ok, this is a big one….

im getting broken off by my author whom i read every morning. hes writing on how we control or try to control our lives. and how it simply is just coming from the mind.

he says that when we try to be too controlled, life in all its splendor will just pass us by because we are trying to have life conform to a certain mold. life refuses-so it passes “controlled” people by.

this is a hard one for me. i was reared to control everything. if i were acting up at a restaurant, my dad just needed to look at me a certain way-and i knew i needed to pull my shit together. i was also taught that 1+2=3…with everything. if i do this, then this will happen. if i act this way, i’ll get this…controlling every nuance of my life has been my mantra. but somewhere along the way i’ve neglected life to a degree.

frankly, i’ve been so controlled. i’ve kept my shit together when people have wronged me. i have been uber-stategic in certain areas of my life. i’ve calculated, and i’m tired of it. i want to relax a little and let life do it’s thing. it will ultimately take care of me so i can let go a little.

its perfect timing because its friday…i can let go a lot.

have a good one-

 

n.

hmmmmm…

so i was reading how people most often are closed. there are small moments in our lives where we choose to be open. open with friends, open with opportunities or closed to relationships, closed to ideas, closed to the concept of being vulnerable.

the reason we close off is out of fear that when we are open things we dont welcome can enter and take from us. this is a true and valid fear. i feel like things are constantly being taken from me or people are pushing their way in or an energy vampire has posted up in my space and pitched a tent. i can be the master of the close off. i actually operate very well that way i like to think. but the problem with that is im not truly living. im not open to all my potential to connect to life and its beauty. i know……just stay with me….im getting out there with it….

but maybe if i open up more more things are comfortable to coming to me and staying and posting up. good things, things that bring love and warmth to my life.

so my goal today is not to be closed off and at least fake the fact that i can be a mean ass bitch! 🙂 no, seriously, im making the choice to welcome goodness into my life today. and i wish goodness for you today too.

peace-

n.

just ok…

so i was reading today…and the author was talking about how pitiful it is to just exist in a state of “ok”. he says that if anything, be as miserable as possible or simply happy, but not just ok.

its dangerous to function that way, and i agree. this is important to me because ive been in this numb “ok” state for some time now. i have everything in the world to be “overwhelmingly joyous” about, but i still find myself  in the world of “just ok”. in this place i can see from the outside in that i am on auto pilot/zombie-like…in spiritual meatphysical speak:not aware.

there are moments at all seconds of the day where opportunities are presented to us, and if we are unaware we will completely overlook and dismiss those gifts. that is the danger in just ok or just whatever. so…my task now is to wake the fuck up and be ANYTHING but just ok.

challenge yourself if you find yourself here as well…OK?

n.

oh friday…..

good morning. worthless chatter today, people.

i finally slept well last night. i have not been sleeping well over the last couple of days. sometimes i feel very uninspired in my days, and sometimes i feel so anxious with so much excess energy i could be mistaken for a rowdy kindergartener with unbridled energy and focus. thats how ive been as of late. i sort of feel as if im about to birth a new idea or song or headspace even…”wait for it -wait for it…” so i got to sleep through it last night. so i feel great today and its friday…cant be mad at that.

you guys have a sweet weekend. make love. make laughter. spank someones ass in public, and if i give birth to something mind-blowing youll hear of it monday…

peace,

n.