lessons…

i am completely being taught so many lessons right now. and usually at this time of year things wind down as the holidays gear up and the focus turns to family, gifting (if youre into the commercialization of the holidays), getting here/getting there, holiday parties, and preparing to “meet the family” sort of stuff.

and sure as hell, for me, the life lessons havent slowed one iota. and im grateful. there are lessons at every turn…awareness is all that is necessary for the attainment of the lesson learned.

i wear armor.
a lot of armor.
i was taught very early on in childhood to shield myself from potential harm. i am quite a pro at this. actually, this may be the one and only thing i have actually mastered in this lifetime. i know how to shield with state of the art armor, the best in the industry. 😉

but the armor is slowly eroding away, and im taking it off ever so slowly, but surely. i am getting help with this. i now have people in my life that assure me and guide me in doing just this. letting down my armor.

ive lived a life of such defense. defending myself. defending my heart and my feelings. being so utterly “poker face” that nothing could get in.

and what im learning is that what is true, needs no defending. it just is. my truth needs no defending. i need not defend myself. i have hiccups here and there……but i am realizing that i cannot be attacked. my truth cannot be tarnished. i just need to remain vigilant of this truth to not fall prey to ego.

LOVE heals all.
and im so grateful to the “bright eyed angels” in my life, (and the beautiful brown-eyed ones too, melody..) that are teaching me that i can be gentle. that i can be defenseless as theres nothing to defend against. what i give out comes back to me. and i can shed the heavy, bulky armor that really has no use anymore and shed the extra weight thats holding me back.

so what i can say to you is this: let go of the armor, especially in this time when universally we are focused on joy and peace. this is a perfect time to venture out and get your feet wet and to allow yourself to completely expose your love-free of heavy armor. the time is right, and its safe. there is safety in gentle authenticity. its the most powerful-also, because at the end of the day, its all there is. walk in it, spread your wings and fly.

and speaking of being “weighed down”…fuck it, enjoy the chocolate pie, the homemade fudge, and nasty fruitcake….its all infused and made with love so the calories are cancelled out. true story.

peace on earth-

n.

i made love to myself….

today.

well, not like that….

im always frantically moving about. theres always a destination or result involved. today there were several destinations i “shouldve” gotten to, and a plethora of results i couldve manifested. but instead, i took time for me. i listened to music. i read A LOT. i said my gratitudes. fed myself mentally, spiritually and physically all day. what a great Thursday.

what really “pleased” me was the homemade face mask i made myself. i took a bath and got ready to put on my makeup. my face was soooo dry so i stopped everything and went into the kitchen and started playing mad chemist (ive been known to do this on occasion). so i pampered myself without the glamour day spa price. :)….and i did it with my two hands……………

so for all the ladies out there (men too)- the mask will work for all and give you gloriously radiant skin…..here is what i threw together.

-1 eggwhite w a little yolk (the fat from the yolk is moisturizing, and the eggwhite is great for firming)
-a few drops of lavender and chamomile (soothes and calms)
-a few drops of green tea extract for energizing and waking up the skin
-a dollop greek yogurt (the enzymes are beneficial)
-a quarter of a mashed banana (the sugar is a great exfoliant and the potassium is good for the skin)
-half a lemon squeezed (also a great exfoliant and cleanser)
-a dollop of coconut oil (very moisturizing)
-and a pinch of oatmeal also a soother and hydrating
mash it allllllll together….and put it all over your face and wear it for however long you desire……your skin will glow afterwards, i promise!

buuuuuut before you make your face look like pancake batter, i always take a green tea bag and steep it on the stove. i take a towel, cover my head and let the tea steam open up my pores so my skin is more that ripe and ready for the mask…..that is the foreplay if you will……:) then, the actual deed of sweetly rubbing on your concoction…..relax, and enjoy.

this is a very simple way to “make love to yourself”…you might look a little goofy with a towel over your head as you stand in front of the stove or with cake-y gook on your face, but whoever chooses to be a voyeur into your world, so be it, this is what they get. besides….making love is only good when it gets goofy…….

love yourself. its good for you. it will give you that…”glow”….

peace-

n.