i am completely being taught so many lessons right now. and usually at this time of year things wind down as the holidays gear up and the focus turns to family, gifting (if youre into the commercialization of the holidays), getting here/getting there, holiday parties, and preparing to “meet the family” sort of stuff.
and sure as hell, for me, the life lessons havent slowed one iota. and im grateful. there are lessons at every turn…awareness is all that is necessary for the attainment of the lesson learned.
i wear armor.
a lot of armor.
i was taught very early on in childhood to shield myself from potential harm. i am quite a pro at this. actually, this may be the one and only thing i have actually mastered in this lifetime. i know how to shield with state of the art armor, the best in the industry. 😉
but the armor is slowly eroding away, and im taking it off ever so slowly, but surely. i am getting help with this. i now have people in my life that assure me and guide me in doing just this. letting down my armor.
ive lived a life of such defense. defending myself. defending my heart and my feelings. being so utterly “poker face” that nothing could get in.
and what im learning is that what is true, needs no defending. it just is. my truth needs no defending. i need not defend myself. i have hiccups here and there……but i am realizing that i cannot be attacked. my truth cannot be tarnished. i just need to remain vigilant of this truth to not fall prey to ego.
LOVE heals all.
and im so grateful to the “bright eyed angels” in my life, (and the beautiful brown-eyed ones too, melody..) that are teaching me that i can be gentle. that i can be defenseless as theres nothing to defend against. what i give out comes back to me. and i can shed the heavy, bulky armor that really has no use anymore and shed the extra weight thats holding me back.
so what i can say to you is this: let go of the armor, especially in this time when universally we are focused on joy and peace. this is a perfect time to venture out and get your feet wet and to allow yourself to completely expose your love-free of heavy armor. the time is right, and its safe. there is safety in gentle authenticity. its the most powerful-also, because at the end of the day, its all there is. walk in it, spread your wings and fly.
and speaking of being “weighed down”…fuck it, enjoy the chocolate pie, the homemade fudge, and nasty fruitcake….its all infused and made with love so the calories are cancelled out. true story.
peace on earth-
n.