drinking my japanese green tea, i am finding myself watching brainless, well, not WATCHING brainless, but listening to brainless tele. i do not want to sit in any silence today. i want noise, i want busy-ness, i want vibration.
i have to go to work in T-minus 2 hours and im not in the mood to look “pretty”.
today is a day of “should haves”…
i should’ve gone on a run
i should’ve gone to the gym
i should have this…i should have that…
and i know the exact reason i am feeling so discontented. the silence i dont want right now is the very silence i should’ve sought out this am upon waking. i didn’t sleep so well last night, so all the more reason to ground myself as i move through the day. i rebelled and here i am…a little less than pleased. i dont want to get dressed. i dont want to eat dinner. i dont want to check my emails. i dont even wanna dick about with facebook. i dont know what i want. i dont even know what i dont want. 🙂
but at least i took the initiative to write about it so at least its out of me. its a mood, i tell ya. a mood. and damn, its friday, people, life is fucking grand, and i really want to smile. so im gonna force my teeth to peek through my lips and smile.
right here and right now i will try and remember this quote. and instead of REacting to my mood, at this very moment i am choosing a new action.
“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”- Rita Mae Brown
so powerful and so true. my moods such as this are always derived from not having done with the day what i could have. i could have packed more in, i could have helped more. i could have loved more. when i squander my potential in a day i grow restless. this is my realization. i have the power to change the direction of the rest of my day, i mean, its only 8:33pm. 🙂 ive got all night.
exhaust your potential.
change someone’s life for the better.
its all available in this very moment.
“i wish that i could have this moment for life….”-NM
i hope you all have a glorious friday night. dont drink and drive, and make as wise of choices as humanly possible tonight.