i’ve been reading a lot about power, positivity, and just existence. yes, all that in between my obsession with jenna jameson and films that are just ridic.

but what unnerves me is that the teacher that i read says that we cant get to the highest rung of the “positivity ladder” without visiting the lowest. we cant peak in our positivity the way the universe fully intends unless we muster the courage to visit the deep. and that totally bums me out.

i’ve been operating half-ass to save myself any drama filled emotion. i’ve tried my damndest to just be copacetic with all around me. and that seems to be the lame way to go, as well. ┬ájust existing in mediocrity to keep from visiting the low is not actually beneficial.or as my guru says, “living an existence in hell”. damn, and i was just trying to save myself the headache.

back to the drawing board.