monday, daylight savings monday…

im so glad to be here writing again. i took a week off. this is completely cathartic for me even when i have absolutely nothing to say. it is somewhat meditational, its quieting. yet also thoughts flow in and put a certain energy around my day.

so i went out here in LA on saturday night. i had a great time-was with friends,drank jonnie ¬†walker king george V out of a flask, and ate a home made chocolate chip cookie at the end of the night…perfection.

until, daylight savings reared its ugly head. holy shit! all of the sudden i woke up on sunday and it was 11 am…i havent slept until 11 in i cant tell you how long. and that speed set the motion for the whole day. sunday was gone. but here we are. the good thing is we get more sun…which can never be a bad thing.

no segue here at all…

in my daily meditational crap i read the author says this: “a chaos at ease,thats how a person should be…when you carry a revolution within you, every moment brings a new world, a new life.”

he’s talking about how when everything is known or fixed the freedom is lost in that. when there is complete security there is bondage.

i feel like im going crazy because my life is so fixed, known, routine. i need to spice it up a little, take risks, breathe new air, and he said it, i have permission to be my own revolution.

thank god…revolt people, revolt…

peace-

n.

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ok, subject can’t be avoided…

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME.

i dont even know where to start. this one is a bitch this time. and for me, she chooses when and how she wants to come in- with a vengeance or sit on the side-lines like a mousy wall-flower. well, she is definitely here.

just to give you a little view into my life this past weekend-thursday night I made really good friends with “johnnie walker blue label”. black label was always my favorite friend til now. Friday I spent all day wanting to delete him as a friend. Saturday i went to yoga with my bff along with other random stuff. ¬†now sunday…i decide somewhere after my 3 shot americano as i’m feeling all pepped up and ready to enjoy my sunday with extreme fervor- that it is now time to cry like a bitch for a good 2 hours. why? dont ask me why. there is no definitive path we can walk down to find the reason. (and the word “reason” can not be used in the same blog ever if we’re discussing pms mind you. i think it’s a law somewhere).

oh wait, there’s more…after my desire to throw myself into complete hysteria comes to an end-i am now utterly exhausted. haaaaaaaaave, you ever seen a kid lose their shit then 10 minutes later they’re completely passed out from act-out exhaustion? that was me. but at this point, i felt like all i could do now for the rest of the day is just muster the strength to hold the couch down and watch the oscar pre-shows with 2 bags of chips with salsa. that’s what HAD to be done. that was absolutely the only fixable solution.

then we cut to me completely spinning out that i actually successfully finished a bag and a half and the mental havoc that ensued. wow, am i on a roll. now, im on clean up patrol for my lost weekend and new found desire to sit around and waste my day. geez. and i KNOW im not the only one. it sucks for all of us. i swear im going to invent something like a “pms blocker”. if not to be taken by us-for all the people who have to endure us premenz.

peace (finally today)

n.