how many commercials do we see just within a half an hour sitcom or watching a stint of the news that is related to some newly found disorder???
yesterday i saw a commercial on PAD (peripheral artery disease), and then one on “restless leg syndrome” wtf?? the PAD actually seems more legitimate that having a leg that wont sit still (a cure for that when i was a kid was a knock upside the head)-no meds needed.
but my point (there’s always a point) is…
i literally get so depressed in the winter time. i hole up, i shut down, i feel like i can not function as an adult in our world most times. if its overcast i feel unsure. if its too windy? cant seem to take a risk. seriously. there is a name for this disorder.
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER or (SAD) very fitting, right?!
well, i think it’s a crock of bullshit. or at least im choosing to not fall prey as another number in the statistic game of those out there that sign up to say theyre a victim.
in the winter, my life virtually turns upside down. i cant get/stay warm, i dont want to see friends or make an effort, and i eat, boy do i eat.
but cut to today-its literally 92 degrees here in LA. Beads of sweat are scurrying down my back as if to jockey for pole position as i type away in my apartment. and what?
i have a smile on my face. i couldnt be happier. i love the heat, the sun, the warmth. it makes me strong. it makes me alert. it makes me want to.
so back to my bullshit theory…
maybe i shouldnt take a pill or set up “light therapy” sessions, but there is something to be said for the way i feel in both seasons. literally, im like 2 different people. i dont have the answer or a theory for that matter. i am still just going to choose to not believe in such a disorder.
i think it was said poetically this way, “mama, you can choose the rain, but i choose the sun….thats all i need to free myself…”- Nikka Costa
anyway, just thought i’d share with you.
i also want to acknowledge all the lives affected by the Columbine tragedy. it is not forgotten. the loved ones taken and the ones survived will not be forgotten.