im reading a book and a topic is power. something ive been thinking a lot about lately.
this author says that there should be no fear if power is grown alongside vulnerability. he states that the creator of yoga, Patanjali says to tread lightly around the area of power so that it will not be abused (Patanjali was fearful of the trouble power could cause if used wrongly). the author also states that the fixable solution to that is to also be developing vulnurability.
i find this very interesting as of late. we find ourselves in times of our lives feeling invincible, other times invisible. sometimes we are magnetic and alluring, other times mousy and quietly assessing.
so for me, this is a quite graceful balance to attain- to continue developing my ability to remain vunerable, and allowing my power to be an unbridled force.
i know this is a weird one today. the women im sure can get what im saying. even the men too, even though they dont want to admit that they too think of their power. 🙂
i dont even know where to start. this one is a bitch this time. and for me, she chooses when and how she wants to come in- with a vengeance or sit on the side-lines like a mousy wall-flower. well, she is definitely here.
just to give you a little view into my life this past weekend-thursday night I made really good friends with “johnnie walker blue label”. black label was always my favorite friend til now. Friday I spent all day wanting to delete him as a friend. Saturday i went to yoga with my bff along with other random stuff. now sunday…i decide somewhere after my 3 shot americano as i’m feeling all pepped up and ready to enjoy my sunday with extreme fervor- that it is now time to cry like a bitch for a good 2 hours. why? dont ask me why. there is no definitive path we can walk down to find the reason. (and the word “reason” can not be used in the same blog ever if we’re discussing pms mind you. i think it’s a law somewhere).
oh wait, there’s more…after my desire to throw myself into complete hysteria comes to an end-i am now utterly exhausted. haaaaaaaaave, you ever seen a kid lose their shit then 10 minutes later they’re completely passed out from act-out exhaustion? that was me. but at this point, i felt like all i could do now for the rest of the day is just muster the strength to hold the couch down and watch the oscar pre-shows with 2 bags of chips with salsa. that’s what HAD to be done. that was absolutely the only fixable solution.
then we cut to me completely spinning out that i actually successfully finished a bag and a half and the mental havoc that ensued. wow, am i on a roll. now, im on clean up patrol for my lost weekend and new found desire to sit around and waste my day. geez. and i KNOW im not the only one. it sucks for all of us. i swear im going to invent something like a “pms blocker”. if not to be taken by us-for all the people who have to endure us premenz.