woke up confused about the brain…

so, we all get stressed out, right? yah.

well, i always seem to find things to stress out about. now, i’ve romantically given the rose to “personal finances and the economy”. this has become my stress lover as of late.

although i’m actually fine and have a job that i absolutely love. i find myself giving into the poor economic hysteria. i dream about it, think about it all day, and talk and talk about it.

here’s the rub. i keep spending money. and let me preface by saying i’m the girl that still clips coupons and holds up the grocery line over exact change (my friends hate being in line with me). but i love saving money. i grew up shopping at value village and goodwill before it was socially deemed as cool. while i have friends that brag about their major purchases in my head i think of how much of an idiot they are actually paying full retail. can you not be a little more creative?!

but now in the headspace of financial panic that our country has found itself in-i have been doing some major retail therapy. so bizarre. i dont understand. i’ve been shopping with a vengeance. what is that? can someone please explain? i keep saying,” ok. done. no more. get a fu@#$ng grip”, yet still…

i dont really have crazy vices or drama that can feel like needle to the vein, but how and when did shopping make an entrance? i dont know. if i were to go tomy  “evolved” self, i would say “don’t force it”, “let it exit on it’s own”, “quit throwing so much power and energy into worrying”-all these things are true. i just find the whole juxtaposing phenomenon just that- a phenomenon.

ok, i’m out. walk in love today-i’m gonna try.